Warning!! Please read before you bite into that chocolate bunny ear!

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Today’s blog is on the dangers of chocolate… more precisely chocolate toxicity on the pituitary gland. This brown poison could possibly be causing mutation through stunting and artificially altering hormonal production. We also propose that this is part of a government conspiracy to limit the population.

I know you might think we are going overboard but please read on. I believe after you read all the evidence you will agree.

Disclaimer: Although there have been no double blind studies we have gathered and analyzed the overwhelming evidence.

One who is probably exposed the most to chocolates is …..the Easter Bunny. Examining him there is no doubt of how the exposure of this seemingly safe sweet has affected his pituitary gland…

The pituitary is responsible for normal size especially height. The average male rabbit is 4 to 9 ½ pounds. I have a picture of Peter with my granddaughter and he must go 180 pounds which would make him an epiphany of “Pituitary gigantism”.

The pituitary gland also is responsible for the production of melanin a lack of this hormone can causes poor pigment coloration, and since the Easter bunny has blue eyes instead of pink, he isn’t a true albino hence vitiligo is the only possible diagnosis.

The pituitary is paramount in reproduction and maturation… Have you ever notice how the Easter bunny ages like Dick Clark BUT never has any hunny bunnies on his arm? And to my knowledge he has no offspring of his own…. although in a manner not natural to his species, he has laid a few Cadbury Cream chocolate eggs.

Could the Easter bunny be part of a conspiracy to control world population?

Well… he does go around to everyone’s house once a year leaving a dose of his toxic products … And records show that he has never been arrested and after all these years he also has never applied for a permit for food distribution…Sounds fishy to me.

And he always makes sure he covers his tracks… For instance, in all these years I have never…. Not even once seen a giant bunny terd…. Of course that could be a side effect of eating that synthetic grass that he uses… but that is another story.

I think we have made our case… I hope that you, like I, will never look innocently at chocolate again.

All kidding aside…..

We hope the gift of our resurrected Savior Jesus Christ brings hope, joy and peace, into your lives. Happy Easter everybody

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